Now
Hi,
The last few years have seen a lot of change for me and in many good ways.
I’m out as a trans woman living in Portland, Oregon which is my favorite city. I have decided that she/her and it/its pronouns fit me best right now. Sometimes it speaks about itself in the third person.
I still work as an operating room nurse where I get to scrub and circulate a variety of services. I just switched from a 0.8 to 1.0 FTE which keeps me funded and busy. I love working in the OR!
It got divorced in 2025 after 13 years of marriage, which was a good decision for both of us it seems, even if it was a very very difficult thing to go through. We are talking again and I think it would be cool to be friends.
My philosophy on relationships changed drastically, and although my ex-spouse and I had an open marriage since 2016, I have finally figured out the model that makes the most sense to me: relationship anarchy. I think that this is the most ethical model of relationships, and more people should adopt it. As I say in part one of a multi-post thread on this topic:
one reason why it loves relationship-anarchy, is bc it (this one) can be different things to different people.
there is a variety of dynamics and deep relationships that all have a foundation of friendship at the core.
this model of doing relationships helps with the deconstruction of how we were indoctrinated into practicing our relationships; we can get better at our practice of sharing our lives with those we love.
I learned how to have boundaries and how important they are to me. One of my boundaries is being called the name and pronouns that I would like to be called. If people, don’t honor that boundary, and after making it clear and kind a few times to the person, I no longer choose to be in relationship with the person. Found-family > blood. Basic respect is not up for debate.
I started therapy in December of 2024 after struggling with mental health stuff for a while. SSRIs in late 2023. Started HRT in January of 2024 and estrogen is fucking magic.
I don’t own a car, but really want a motorcycle and still plan on getting one. Bicycles are awesome!
In January of 2026, I had an MPFL repair done on my right knee to repair old damage and new damage from a random dislocation while sitting down. In the same case, I had my first gender-affirming surgery, a tracheal shave which shaves down the thyroid cartilage. I was on FMLA for several months. The recovery time for the knee surgery back to sports is 1+ year and I still can’t bicycle or run yet.
In June of 2026 I totally revamped this site, while starting on the new https://betterwebsites.dev theme back during my knee recovery.
I’m still deeply involved in union work, but in some other ways than before: I am part of the Caucus for Powerful Reform (CPR) which aims to increase transparency, democracy, and solidarity within the Oregon Nurses Association (ONA). I ran for statewide union officer on the ONA labor cabinet and won my seat. I take office July 1 of this year. Check out the CPR website, https://nursesfororegon.org.
I’m also an advocate for Healthcare For All Oregon, which aims to make Oregon the first state with universal Healthcare.
I have so many cool friends!! Some of my friends are platonic and some are decidedly not =). But 99% are some variety of queer which warms my heart. IDK what romantic love is, I just love my friends so much ^^
it should note that it no longer and hasn’t for a while, identified as “polyamorous” and it doesn’t quite see the appeal of a “polycule” at this juncture. it simply has friends; sometimes we hang out in groups, or other-times 1:1. it has learned that it loves 1:1 time with its friends most often, and also loves to host gatherings of its friends to cook vegan food for them and to see the community interactions, shared friendships, and the positive queer culture that arises out of that –https://infosec.exchange/@sparklepanic/116791472668519223
My politics remain steadfastly leftist and im involved in trying to make the world a better place through orgs like DSA, actions like mutual aid, and building a solid group of queer leftist friends.
Increased its knowledge of computers over the last few years even more substantially. Really helps to have cute nerds in my friend circle.
I have debated with many folks about so called “AI”. I hate it so much. It is not sentient nor is it useful; let’s stop using it all-together. What I mean by “AI” is best summed up in Angels Collier’s delightful video, “AI does not exist but it will ruin everything anyway”.
Should I mention that I identify with being a puppygirl? Sure, why not. So many people are confused at what puppygirls are so imma give it a try from my perspective: I’m silly. Always have been. Described as a “goof” and just “a big floofy golden retriever”, embracing the furry-adjacent but largely unwritten about transfem queer topic: “what kind of girl are you? a catgirl? a puppygirl? bunny? bot?”.
You might be like what the heck is Raven talking about? Well, a subset of us transfem queers like to express ourselves through play in increasingly silly ways; we embrace a sense of play regarding some of our own perceived personalities that corresponds with a non-human entity, often a type of dog, cat, rabbit, dragon, fox, robot, etc., and in so doing express parts of inner-lives that reflects a steadfastness with pouncing, fetching, and nomming our whimsy out into the world. Although indeed we are biological creatures in a material universe, it’s an attitude of play combined with queer-identity that drives us: we bark and purr; wear collars and parkour around. It’s simply being silly queers. May our silliness continue, may it grow!
Looking to the future, I am both full of hope and dread at the same time; things will get really fucking hard with climate change, fascism, AI cultists ruining the world, COVID reinfections and increasing CO2 levels ruining our brains and cognitive capabilities, and many more antisocial behaviors that will hurt us. But consider: we literally could have fully-automated-luxury-communism (a la Star Trek). We can do anything. Especially as it pertains to living in solidarity and community with one another. We help us. The way forward is gonna be long, and it’s gonna take being vocal and showing up. Holding grudges is for losers. We must have a process and willingness to believe in and participate in restorative justice. We cannot afford to squabble amongst ourselves. A leftist movement must mean a big-tent approach and it must be democratic. Together, we can learn from each other and create intersectional movements to make the world a better place than when we entered it. We can’t do it alone. Together, we will win!
Solidarity,
Raven
P.S. Here’s my transition timeline photos so far!
